you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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