Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
