he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
