This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
