He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
