Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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