We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
