I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
