i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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