your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
