They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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