uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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