So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
