hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
