I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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