I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
