Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Mom said you looked used
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Randomize
