Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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