i think my mom watched the whole time
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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