Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
