I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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