You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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