It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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