is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
