Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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