the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
