She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
