i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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