she was so not down for the gang bang
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
