I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Randomize
