In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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