The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
