...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
