I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
im holly from the hills drunk
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
