4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
