i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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