You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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