oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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