if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
