that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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