but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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