K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
