i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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