5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
