well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
