she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
