So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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