You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
