I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
