I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I am one with the molecules
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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