i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
