no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
