I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
